How Do You Suck?

I was talk­ing with a good friend last night, and she men­tioned that I was a great pro­gram­mer. I found that a lit­tle sur­pris­ing, as despite the unlike­li­ness of a lot of what I achieve, I don't gen­er­ally think of myself in this way.

ponder.jpg
pic by stri­atic

I've thought a lot more deeply about this since, and I've realised a few things — that apply to any area of skill.

Peo­ple who are not-so-good in any area tend to look down the tree at those below them on the skill lad­der — "Look! I'm bet­ter than all those people!"

Peo­ple who are good in any area tend to look up the tree "See how much more I have to learn!"

This is also part of a nat­ural con­tin­uum (great word!) of learning:

  1. uncon­scious incom­pe­tence (you don't realise you suck)
  2. con­scious incom­pe­tence (you realise you suck)
  3. uncon­scious com­pe­tence (you don't realise you don't suck as much as you thought you did)
  4. con­scious com­pe­tence (you know you don't suck — and why!)

For exam­ple, in Aikido I'm some­where between step 2 & 3. I'm aware of how much I suck (the more deeply you learn, the more you can see that needs improve­ment) — but I don't realise that I don't suck in gen­eral (and am always a lit­tle sur­prised when some­one points this out). This isn't a neg­a­tive self view, as much as a gen­uine desire to improve & a focus on this, rather than com­par­i­son with others.

Inter­est­ingly, I can very con­cretely remem­ber a time when I gen­uinely believed I was awe­some at Aikido. How wrong I was (in hind­sight)!! *laugh*

The real trap, of course, is being aware of the dan­gers & mas­sive dif­fer­ence between stage 1 & 3. Unwar­ranted ego-centricism is, after all, known as hubris, & we all know how dan­ger­ous the ego is, right kids?

August 31, 2008 – 00:18 | By Si | Posted in geek, life | View Comments
  • James

    I like the lad­der anal­ogy. If you *really* want to be good, you're look­ing always look­ing up!

    I would have put con­scious com­pe­tence before uncon­scious com­pe­tence. Con­scious com­pe­tence you suck less if you try hard and think about it. Uncon­scious com­pe­tence you suck less because you don't have to try hard and think about it.

    I also heard "your expec­ta­tions always exceed your abil­ity", I sup­pose if you don't want to get any bet­ter, it's time to stop training.

  • http://sidawson.org Si Daw­son

    hey thanks!

    I think what adds to the con­fu­sion is the many mean­ings of the words conscious/unconscious. I've used them purely in terms of aware­ness. First you're not aware that you don't actu­ally suck as much as you used to (step­ping up from con­scious incom­pe­tence). Then finally you're aware that you don't suck.

    Above you've used "pay­ing attention/working" in terms of being con­scious, & "embed­ded knowl­edge" in terms of being unconscious.

    [Yes, it took 10 min­utes of think­ing to get this all clear in my head *grin*]

    That said — you do make a very good point — that you're never going to rise above incom­pe­tence with­out a lot of work, pay­ing atten­tion, think­ing & try­ing hard.

    I would argue that even at the peak per­for­mance lev­els, you still need to be work­ing hard — more specif­i­cally, prac­tic­ing hard. There are many exam­ples from sports that sup­port this. Michael Jor­dan was famed for always train­ing longer & harder than any­one else — even at the top of his game. Tiger Woods still hits hun­dreds of prac­tice balls a day.. and so on. A lot of the fun­da­men­tals are def­i­nitely embed­ded very deeply — & they do become uncon­scious behav­iours (as you point out) — but there is still def­i­nitely that need for con­scious attention.

    "Expec­ta­tions always exceed your abil­ity" I've also heard as "Your reach always exceeds your grasp" — but I like your way bet­ter. Makes more sense to me :)

  • http://www.xanga.com/eternalvoyageur eter­nalvoyageur

    Ah, my Virgo heart likes the way you have clas­si­fied it ! I used to think about the rela­tion of being good at some­thing and thinking/knowing that you are good at it. I´m quite self-critical, so most of the time I feel I suck, but I have yet to dis­tin­guish whether I´m in szep 2 or 3 in each thing…

  • http://sidawson.org Si Daw­son

    I sus­pect in gen­eral you'll (we'll) always be some­where between steps 2 & 3.

    And being overly self-critical does seem to be some­thing of a human con­di­tion. I know I suf­fer from it.

    I pre­fer aim­ing for, in terms of learn­ing, the anal­ogy of teach­ing a child to ride a bike — rather than crit­i­cism, to pro­vide one­self patience, gen­tle cor­rec­tion, end­less support.

  • lyn­ni­vere

    And, of course, I believe that there is one sin­gle nat­ural con­se­quence to com­par­i­son.. Misery.

    Thinkin' you suck may be likened to thinkin' you're greater than the kit­tens mit­tens. Deflat­ing self depri­ca­tion is just as harm­ful as self destruc­tive nar­cis­sism. That's because any­time you use the word "suck" about your­self.. your psy­che believes you.

    Oh Si, how all the trees belong & even that weeds in the gar­den have a place. =)

  • http://sidawson.org Si Daw­son

    ha ha ha. As usual, you're so right :)

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