Memory is notoriously unreliable.
It’s a fair bet that most of the memories we have are confused, jumbled, or otherwise incorrect. Certainly not accurate enough to hold up in court – this is, after all, why policemen write down everything at the scene of a crime.
The funny thing is, these are the memories that we torture ourselves with. Regret over things done or not done. Disappointment at other people & ourselves. Perceived failures & missed opportunities.
Even when we’re not actively beating ourselves up, those memories are still there in the background, providing (unpleasant) flavour.
If our memories are likely to be wrong (to some degree) anyway, why not at least make them pleasantly wrong? Who’s to say they have to be an accurate reflection of the past? Surely what happens in your head is 100% your business?
Of course, changing your memory of your phone number isn’t the cleverest thing in the world, but there are plenty of other juicy candidates. How about
- all those situations where you’ve been socially confident, the life of the party
- the successful presentations you’ve given
- how popular you were at school
- all those payraises
- the deeply loving & supportive relationships
- the peaceful breakups
- how effortless it’s been for you to meet new people
- those moments with your parents where you truly understood how much they loved you
- that long history of high figure sales
- the times you’ve stunned those around you with your brilliance & insight
You get the idea! Make your (remembered) life as beautiful, poetic & magical as you like!
pic by alicepopkorn
It’s your brain – own it!
So how to do this? Well, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than finding a quiet spot, remembering back to specific life situations you’ve had, and imagining them going however-you-want. Keep imagining them until the old memory fades away & the new replaces it (this is very well researched phenomena). If you feel like part of you is struggling with this, you can always tap while you do it, but that’s totally up to you.
Your life is nothing but the sum of your memories. Why not start a new life, right now?
Just start with whatever pops in your head. Recreate your memories, making them as awesome as you possibly can. As Orwell famously said “Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.” Well you control the present.
As within, so without.
& here’s a little anecdote to whet your appetite. I had a particular situation with a certain person a few years back, where perhaps they didn’t give me the recognition or appreciation I would have liked. In the few years since then, they’ve never really mentioned this, let alone made any kind of big deal about it. Just not in their nature.
So hey, I did the above. Imagined them really understanding how much effort I’d put in to help them.. and showing me. I imagined myself feeling deeply appreciated. Loved. Thanked. It was awesome! *laugh*
Didn’t take long. The whole thing? Maybe 5 minutes.
The only difference I could outwardly detect was that I felt more loving towards them. That aside, I promptly forgot about it.
Next day, I’m surfing the web, & what do I find? A couple of paragraphs in a very public location, from them, acknowledging & stating exactly what I’d imagined. Giving me that thanks, that appreciation. Exactly how I (now) remember it going.
Coincidence? Maybe. You decide.