One of the trickiest thing with healing (read: improving our lives) is that so much of what affects us happens below our level of consciousness.
We are, indeed, icebergs.
So, while intellectually we know things to be true: we want to be happy, loving, at peace; in reality our lives are often far different.
The difficulty comes in finding & removing those inner impulses. The resistance & fears we hold so deeply hidden.
A lot of the time, particularly with things we deem traumatic, our ego/mind will deliberately hide things from us. I've experienced this over and over. I heal on something (at the conscious level), and only after it's healed am I able to see what's truly been going on underneath.
Other times, I heal something (and definitely feel it leave) and yet I never ever get to see what it was. Simply that it was there before, and now it's gone.
So how do we address something we can't see, can't identify and often can't even detect?
As always, simply looking at our lives shows us what we most want in the world. Not consciously, a lot of the time, but at our deepest levels.
Why Our Subconscious is a tricky bugger
Why would we ever want pain, ugliness and hurt? Because of these deeper impulses. It's often our ego trying to protect us from some greater fear or hurt. Regardless, this desire for safety (approval or control) or this fear, is more powerful than our conscious beliefs hence the (perhaps undesirable) reality we're experiencing.
About here is where we normally get into difficulties, for three main reasons:
- At a conscious level, it's very difficult to accept that (for example) "I want this pain"
- What's going on is below our level of awareness (we can't even see it)
- We've had this 'thing' for so long we've started to identify with it (it's become part of us)
In general, getting into trying to figure something out is an exercise in futility and frustration.
So if we say, for example, "I want this pain" we'll get immediate internal reactions "No I don't!", "Why would I want this?" and possibly even "This is who I am!"
A super simple way to neatly side step all of these issues is to instead say "some part of me wants this pain" or "some part of me believes.." Just tailor the statements to describe your situation, as usual.
In other words, to whatever phrase you'd use if you were tapping (the 'movie title' describing your problem), just add "some part of me" to the front of it.
I find tapping the karate chop point (side of hand) really helps bring things to the surface (so they're easier to drop). It's like tuning a radio into the issue. Often even that isn't needed though. Just acknowledging that deeper part of yourself is enough to bring it up so you can let it go.
By saying that it is part of us, but not all of us, our ego doesn't get all tied up trying to defend us with denials, or hide the feelings. It also sidesteps issues that have been part of our lives for so long they feel like they're an inescapable part of who we are.
All this is the consciousness equivalent of saying "I have a sore finger" (ie "a part of me is sore"). It's trivial to accept that as truth, versus, say, the more blanket statement "I am sore."
To clear things out
What I've discovered is that for issues where normally I'd require rounds and rounds of EFT, or a hardcore releasing session, by saying "A part of me" I can often drop the issue completely in only a few seconds.
So, what I recommend is this:
- Set the intent that you're going to let go of anything that comes up
- Tap your karate chop point (Hong Kong Phooey gives a good demo here. Parking your car in a dumpster is optional)
- Ideally say the phrases out loud — it just makes it more concrete (this isn't mandatory, it just helps)
- Say "Some part of me…" (then briefly describe what you're dealing with. Keep it super short. Trust your subconscious)
- Let go of any tension or clutching that arises (whether physical, mental or emotional)
- When that feels clear, follow up with "Some part of me still…" (same description, & release)
Seems complicated, but only because I'm outlining it in detail. It's really only one step — tap your hand while saying "some part of me is blergh" (or whatever) and let it all go.
Simple. And by a huge margin the fastest and most thorough way I've found to clear out deep, sticky issues.
I still use full rounds of EFT if I really want to take a baseball bat to something. I still use releasing (taking things back to wanting approval, control or security & letting them go) as a way to simply and quickly improve all areas of my life. For anywhere I'm feeling stuck, or can't immediately sense what's going on? This is now my goto tool.