si dawson

experiments in self-improvement

Month: November, 2013

It’s Just A Picture In My Head

This is a bit of an advanced technique, but I’ll share it anyway.

By advanced I mean – if you’re feeling in a hole or a bit crappy, it won’t work so well. You have to be in a pretty good state before you’ll be clear enough to really feel its effects.

However, if you’re feeling energetically high, that’s the perfect place from which to use this to reach down and clear out a bunch of garbage.

So here’s the technique.

First of all, focus on the issue – try to really connect with it, feel it, centre on it, SEE IT inside (even if you can’t necessarily describe what you’re seeing).

Then say:

  1. I’m the boss
  2. It’s a picture in my head
  3. And I’m letting it go

And let the picture dissolve and disappear.

In order for this to make any sense at all, I’ll break it down into its component parts.

 

1. I’m The Boss

The thing with so much of this kind of work is this: Setting intent is what’s really shifting energy around – that’s where the real magic is (thanks Tatjna).

You ARE the boss of your space. If you say something, the energy in and around you MUST obey.

Of course, we don’t easily believe this and so unwittingly self-sabotage, but it’s still true.

The more we remind ourselves “I am the boss, I am the boss” – and particularly, prove it to ourselves, even in very minor ways – the more true it becomes.

When we say we’re the boss then feel things leave, or watch our lives improve even in very tiny ways, we start to believe it.

The more we believe it the more true it becomes. Self-fulfilling prophecy of the very best kind.

Really, all we’re doing here is reasserting our authority over ourselves.

Even if (particularly if) we don’t believe it when we start, saying this sets the tone for how strong we are about what follows.

 

2. It’s A Picture In My Head

As per my previous post, so much of the nonsense we experience on a daily basis is nothing more than a reflection of the pictures we carry around in our heads.

As we drop our limiting pictures, we improve our lives. As we replace them with empowering pictures, we improve our lives further.

Reminding ourselves that they’re just pictures strengthens our power over the issue.

If we PLAY the victim, we BECOME the victim.

Now I’m not saying that if someone is punching you in the face you should hum a little mantra and tell yourself it’s all a picture. I mean really, hello?

However, if we’re dealing with anything internal – any feeling, thought, belief, habit or pattern – then that’s a picture, or set of pictures.

Rather than feeling victimised or powerless, it encourages us to step into our place of power.

It also helps separate us out from the issue a little bit. If it’s a picture, it’s not us. It’s a different thing. Not even part of us, just something we’re experiencing or (more accurately) carrying around with us.

As soon as we realise that it’s not us, it makes it massively easier to put it down.

It’s as if we’ve spent our entire lives thinking that the massive suitcase we’ve been lugging around is actually part of our arm.

So, by the time you’ve said the first two phrases “I’m the boss, it’s a picture in my head” you’ve massively strengthened your resolve, while also separating yourself out from the issue – in both cases, making it easier for part three.

 

3. And I’m Letting It Go

As simple as that. You’ve set your intent. Strengthened your resolve. Outlined the relationship between yourself and the picture (hint: you’re the boss)

As you say this part, simply watch the picture dissolve. Imagine it drifting away, fading out, whatever feels most powerful and “right for you.”

Of course, what you’re really doing with this is releasing the image, and thus the issue.

 

Obviously, it can also be helpful to go through the phrases a couple of times. Never hurts to be thorough. As you connect more with your inherent power, you’ll start to feel things shift faster and faster.

As things shift faster, you’ll realise that just calmly and unequivocally setting your intent is what matters.

These days, just thinking “I’m the boss” puts me into a place of peace. Simply focusing on the issue and saying “I love you” (while watching it dissolve) will clear it. If I’m feeling particularly calm and centred, then simply focusing on it and saying “Yes” will clear it.

As you do it more, it gets exponentially easier.

The great thing about all this is, it’s a form of releasing that is super, super fast. So you can very quickly race through issues that otherwise you might spend forever chipping away at.

The initial caveat stands, however. If you’re feeling a bit messed up, stressed, or otherwise “not centred”, it’d be better to go with a more long winded technique.

If I’m super messed up, then I always go back to EFT. That clears enough junk out that then I can calm the hell down and use faster methods.

If you’re feeling great though, this is an utterly brilliant, super fast way to dump those pesky pictures, left right and centre.

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    How Our Mental Pictures Define Us

    Most of us carry around an internal framework describing our existence. This is our map, if you will, of the world.

    How it works. How we should behave. What the rules are. What the consequences are if we break those rules. And so on.

    The thing is, all these things are just programs running in our heads. They’re nothing more complex than pictures in our minds.

    The person sitting next to you will have a whole different set of pictures in their head.

    These pictures can be all sorts of things:

    • People are fundamentally good
    • People are fundamentally bad
    • People are fundamentally in it for themselves
    • If I’m late I should beat myself up
    • If I don’t get what I want I should beat myself up
    • If people don’t behave the way I believe they should, I will disapprove of them
    • I deserve to be loved
    • I don’t deserve love
    • I won’t love someone unless they do what I want
    • I am special
    • Famous people are important
    • Poor people are subhuman
    • Ugly people are less worthy than beautiful people

    … and so on.

    You can see how many of these pictures directly contradict others. You can also see how we might pick these up – from what we’re told: by the media; our peers or elders; our families. From what we experience.

    The crazy thing is – whether these programs help us or not, we’ll often fight to the death to prove that “we’re right.”

    In fact, a lot of the time, we’d rather be right than happy.

    Yes, I realise that’s a false dichotomy, but let me explain.

    In instances where these internal beliefs and programs hurt our best interests (eg “I don’t deserve to be loved”) we will look around for evidence to support this belief (“look how that guy/girl left me”) – even though our life is worse off for having this belief.

    What complicates matters further is that often these beliefs directly contradict what we know intellectually to be true.

    If we’re focused in our brains, we may say “Well, that’s stupid, of COURSE I deserve to be loved.”

    It won’t be until maybe we’re very tired, or run down, or drunk that the truth might finally slip out – that even though rationally we know it’s wrong, deep inside we don’t honestly believe we deserve love.

    This kind of thing happens all day every day.

    Of course, not only do we look for evidence to support our deep beliefs (using that wonderful pattern matching device, our brain), we also start to create these beliefs in our lives – a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    If you believe guys always stare at your breasts, you can be damn sure you’re never going to miss a single guy checking you out – more data that proves you’re right.

    If we believe, say, that women are argumentative, won’t we be expecting an argument every time we talk to someone female? And won’t this, in turn, make us more argumentative, thus creating this as truth?

    A simplistic but not wholly inaccurate way of describing this would be to see our mind as a movie projector – and these pictures in our minds are projected out into the world around us.

    Thus, crappy pictures = crappy life. Great pictures = great life.

    As is so often the case, this is easier said than done. For a start, we’re not talking “positive self talk” – because the vast majority of these pictures happen below our level of consciousness. Most of the time we’re not even aware of what’s cycling through our heads.

     

    How do we find these pictures?

     

    1. Sudden mood changes are a good give away.

    If we notice our mood change suddenly (usually for the worse), that’s a pretty strong sign we have some kind of program running.

    Here are some typical programs, to give you an idea:

    • If I’m late, I should beat myself up
    • If I don’t get what I want, I should beat myself up
    • If someone doesn’t behave the way I think they should, I will disapprove of them
    • If I don’t get done what I think I should, I’ll beat myself up
    • I should be sad if people disagree with or don’t like me

    Note: beating yourself up, or disapproving of yourself – it’s all the same thing.

    If you find yourself casually justifying things that actually don’t help us at all, that’s a good sign you have these mental movies running.

     

    2. Over-reaction to events in our lives or the people around us is another clue.

    This kind of thing exposes pictures like these:

    • People must show me respect
    • I want people to love me
    • People should do what I say
    • Everybody wants something from me
    • People only want me for me [whatever]
    • Being polite is super important

    If any of these pictures are pushed against by life, it’ll upset us.

    If we believe in politeness and someone is rude to us, it may feel like our world is ending. In a way it is – life is contradicting our deep beliefs about how the universe operates.

     

    3. Avoidance and escapism (aka procrastination) are also useful.

    These are good hints to the following sorts of pictures:

    • Life is hard
    • Success is only possible through hard work
    • I won’t be paid well unless I do something incredible
    • Unless it’s perfect, it ain’t worth a damn
    • Money is hard to come by
    • Anything worth doing (or this task I’m working on) is going to be difficult

     

    Detect a theme though? They’re all just rules. Rules we live by.

    All these rules are just pictures in our head.

    They’re ways that we define our reality, and thus create it.

    We can think of a thousand reasons why any of these rules are “reasonable”, “understandable”, “sensible” or “obvious” while the person next to us has a similar number of justifications for the exact opposite rule.

    In short? It’s all bullshit.

    A wise man once said “every thought is a limitation” – and while I’m not yet at the point where I can see that clearly, I’m starting to see he may have a strong point.

    Seeing these self-chosen rules, beliefs and pictures is the first step.

    Dumping them all is the second. I’ll get to that in my next post.

    (spoiler: EFT or releasing are super helpful, particularly if the pictures feel a bit “sticky”, but I’ve also discovered a faster way)

    The final, obvious step is to replace them with loving, supportive pictures. That’s the easy (and fun!) bit.

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      Don’t Believe A Word I Say

      We’re all on our own journeys.

      In one sense we’re all on the same journey – everyone wants approval (love). Everyone wants to be happy (at peace).

      But of course, we’re in vastly different places – in our lives; our growth; our paths; what we’re busy learning (or unlearning).

      We have enormously varying backgrounds. Past lives (if you believe in that sort of thing), upbringings, experiences, memories and traumas.

      Given all of the above, it’s hardly surprising that, as the saying goes, different strokes for different folks.

      To that end, what I’m doing here is simply sharing the fastest, deepest, most useful tools and realisations I’ve discovered on MY journey.

      Some you may find helpful. Others you may find complete hogwash. That’s ok too.

      Some of my very best tools I discovered and then simply wasn’t able to use for another couple of years.

      I wasn’t in the right place in my life where I could. I needed to grow more. Clear more. Learn more. Only once I was in a better place did those tools make perfect sense.

      On top of that, I can’t tell you what’s right for you. I can only tell you what’s worked well for me. Ultimately, you need to find your own answers. Get quiet, look inside yourself, and see what you need.

      So read around and see what resonates. Try things out to see what works for you, but keep listening inside. Always keep listening. Ultimately, only you know what’s right for you.

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        I Am You

        Our “inner voice” is often crucifyingly critical.

        It can be incredibly judgemental.

        What can we do about this? Well, there’s a bunch of obvious possibilities: meditation, therapy, eft, releasing.

        Here’s another good way.

        We hone our judgemental internal natures by criticising the people around us.

        Next time you’re walking down a street or in a mall, listen to your inner monologue.

        Invariably it’ll be something like: “Wow, fat… Ugly shoes… Ooh, she’s cute… Awful hair… What a loser… Ugh…” AND SO ON.

        Notice also the ratio of negative to positive. 10 to 1? Worse?

        Guess what we do the rest of the time? We turn that razor sharp criticism on ourselves.

        Pretty logically, if we can drop our internal judgement of others, we’ll also shrink our own self-criticism.

        So here’s an interesting way to do that.

        The first step may sound a little odd, but it’s important, even if not immediately obvious.

        Straighten your posture, pull your shoulders back a bit, and open your heart. How? Just imagine that you’ve opened a door on the front of your body. Then let the energy pour out.

        Why do this? Partly to let love pour out of your body and connect you with others. If you’re sensitive or intuitive you may feel this happening, but don’t panic too much if you don’t. The important thing is just to set your posture and the intent to open yourself.

        Now, as you’re walking along, gently focus on each person (same as you would if you were checking them out, or about to be judgemental). Then, simply say “I am you.”

        That’s right. I Am You.

        The thing is – we’re all the same. We really are. Sure, there are external variations, but on the inside we all love, hurt, desire and die.

        So, when you say “I am you,” you’re forcing your mind to focus on the similarities, rather than the things you do or don’t like.

        Additionally, it will VERY powerfully bring to the surface all those internal criticisms.

        If you’re doing it genuinely, this conflict may typically appear as your mind shouting denial, or even physical tension, clutching or pain in your body. Don’t let it freak you out, it’s all just energy.

        This is the other important reason we open our hearts and chests – to let that energy out.

        Just imagine the tension leaving your body out the front of your chest, and it will. You set the intent, and it will follow.

        For maximum effect, do this with the types of people you find most awful – the fat, ugly, old, infirm, badly dressed – whatever sets you off.

        London Bridge

        I walked across London Bridge the other morning, against the rush hour flow, doing exactly this.

        In the space of five minutes I must have said “I am you” to a hundred people. I felt an incredible amount of criticism and judgement come up and leave too.

        Afterwards, I definitely felt more peaceful, and perhaps unsurprisingly, much more loving towards others.

        Best of all, I felt a ton calmer and more accepting towards myself. Less judgemental. That nasty internal chatter significantly quieter.

        In the days since then? I’ve stayed in that loving space. Best of all, I’ve also noticed a marked drop in my own self criticism.

        All in all, quite neat (and stupidly fast!)

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