Even though it's winter, around these parts there hasn't been snow since 1995.

So, what better way to spend a Monday morning than to go for a walk up a local hill? (rhetorical question)

Yes. A hill. With actual snow.

This hill, unsurprisingly.

Muppet gloves

Mum brought her gloves, made from 100% genuine Muppet, and we were away!

We passed a couple of ducks. One looked like this:

Duck. One. Not to scale.

The other looked different. Grumpier (I think).

There were also some wild quail. They hopped away in that bizarre quailly manner, which can't really be explained. They weren't particularly scared of us, so I'm guessing there aren't a whole lot of quail hunters in this suburb. As a side note, guns are rather damn difficult to get your hands on in New Zealand, so that probably helps. I'm not sure, exactly, how quail keep up with current gun legislation, but they did seem to have a   handle on it.

New Zealand is also very green (you may have heard).

Here's one of the green bits

There's plenty of green to go round. Lots of other bits look like this too.

Mum got very excited by the first bit of snow we found (I did mention it's rare here, right?)

There was (spoiler alert!) more snow to come, but compared to zero snow, this was LOTS

It was also crunchy under foot (always a nice sound).

The first of many snowball fights

I told Mum I was going to take a photo of myself throwing a snowball at her. Thus, this is blurry — as I'm frantically clicking with one hand & biffing with the other. However, note, just left of her left shoulder — voila! Snowball! In the air! I claim victory! (even if this one did miss her, dammit)

We also saw lots of crazy gorse. Flowering (in winter), in the snow:

Pesky Gorse

Gorse is something of a huge pest here in NZ. This is similar to many innovative & brilliant ideas we gained from the British, who brought gorse over to use as hedges. They didn't allow for the fact that NZ is on the other side of the planet (surprise!), thus has a completely different climate.. and voila! Gorse The (now) Noxious Pest took  over the country. See also: rabbits, and possums. Thanks England! (I'm signalling my disapproval with two thumbs up!)

Gorse is, however, rather pretty (aww).

We're also pretty good at growing ferns over here:

Mum loves ferns. Doubly so when covered in snow.

Mum insisted I get this pic. The framing is crazy coz the ferns were so giant, and the track so small, the only way I could get the pic was by holding my camera over my head (ie, I really had no idea where it was pointing).

When we got to the top, there were a ton of gums & pines (it's forestry area, sorta), all looking as pretty as a picture:

Ooh look, trees!

So, you know, here's a picture.

I also made a snow man (I said I would!). Well, a snow alien:

Snow Alien (I like his antenna the best)

He was tiny but cute (kinda like me — at least some of the time).

Mum reckoned he was starting to look like a rabbit, but No! He's An Alien!

Mum did her best to look like an alien too

Mum did try to twizzle her hair up into antenna, but since everything was pretty wet by now (snow! it's wet! who knew?) it didn't work so well. I reckon she's got the arms pretty much perfect though.

Which was good timing, coz about a minute later one of the arms fell off the alien (who obviously didn't have quite such a strong grasp on the whole arm/body concept).

The view from the top was pretty spectacular:

Look! Snow! Also, Wellington off in the distance

You can just (if you tilt your head and squint) see the blue of the sea, right off in the distance between those two hills. Trick is, the river runs down into it. They do that sometimes, I'm told.

I also took enough shots to get a panorama of sorts, but I need to figure out how to do that (without wasting hours of my life painstakingly aligning everything & adjusting brightnesses etc).

Aww, pretty!

Everything in general was pretty damn pretty.

Also, we had coffee from a thermos, which made everything more awesome.

This gum was quite beautiful too:

Don't leave it stuck to your bedstead overnight

I've always had a soft spot for gum trees, but I think five years in Australia has made me love them more than ever.

Oh, and proof that the five or six snowball fights weren't all one sided?

Covered in snow. Thanks Mum!

All that snow on me? That was after I'd brushed myself off. I was covered in it! All thanks to my Mum. Sheesh! I used to think she loved me! What a meanie.

One reason I'm laughing so much was that she'd never used my camera before, so picked it up the wrong way. She was about to take a giant photo of her face — which of course I could see perfectly, since the screen was facing me. Oh Mum!

On the way back down, we found a giant branch that had fallen onto the road, so we dragged it off to the side so no-one would come round the corner & drive their truck into it.

We also found the perfect picnic spot:

The perfect picnic spot!

And that was in the middle of a snow storm! Now imagine how beautiful that'll be in the summer!

Wow.

But first let me wind back a bit.

A few days ago I hung out with a friend of mine. This is someone I've known for a decade or longer, so there's a lot of history there. Mostly pretty good, but some very dark times too. This guy has very strong energy. Historically, he's affected me enormously.

Now, he's going through some shit at the moment (aren't we all?) The catch is, within about 15 minutes of hanging out with him, I could feel his energy making me feel, quite literally, physically ill.

Ok, so that's not good. What to do, what to do?

I tried putting up separation roses, to energetically divide us. They didn't stick. Maybe we just have too much history, we're too strongly connected. Maybe he's just too energetically grasping. I don't know.

I could feel giant clumps of dark energy coming off him and coming towards me, as he was describing the various troubles in his life. Nothing I tried was helping, and things were quickly spiralling downwards.

Interesting situation.

Then I settled on the simplest possible solution.

I focused on the clump of darkness, and simply said "I love you."

Yep, just that.

The super cool thing was, the darkness immediately dissipated. My feeling of sickness left, and (very interesting) he perked up and started talking about something else altogether.

For the rest of our time together, everytime I felt negatively affected, or could sense dark globs of whatever appearing, I'd just address them, say "I love you" and watch them disappear again.

Very. Interesting.

Now, in Ho'oponopono (A Hawaiian healing technique), you cycle through four phrases:

1. I love you
2. I'm sorry
3. Please forgive me
4. Thank you

But I'm starting to suspect, if there was one single prayer to say for the rest of your life, it should be "I love you." The single most powerful thing you can say in any situation.

Since then I have (of course, you know me!) been doing the exact same thing to anything that's appeared — in myself, or those around me. Said "I love you" to it (in my mind) and let it go.

So, to last night.

pic by Cesar T Sanchez

Ever since I started tapping out nightmares, the frequency with which I've experienced bad dreams has dropped precipitously. They've just stopped happening.

So last night was pretty interesting. I had 10, maybe 15 distinct bad dreams in a row.

Why? Who knows (and really, who cares?) Maybe I just unblocked something big enough that it was time to wash a bunch of related remnants out of me. It really doesn't matter too much.

Anyway, in each of these dreams, I settled back, said "I love you" to whatever was happening, and the dream disappeared. Sometimes I needed to repeat it a few times, but every single time the dream would dissolve, along with whatever it was that had been bothering me.

Best of all? I woke up feeling like a million bucks. Now that is a first after a night of bad dreams.

"I love you" — said calmly and with intention — it's continuing to amaze me just how powerful that phrase really is.

"I'm coming to pick you up. I'll be there at 9:50pm. Pack a toothbrush"

Well, okay then.

(Secretly? I adore these kind of spontaneous adventures.)

On the agenda? Sitting in an outdoor jacuzzi half the night; a glass or two of red wine; catching up on old times; watching the lights from the ships coasting in and out of the harbour:

This was the jacuzzi view.. except, you know, black. Night time, see.

We eventually crashed about 4ish. Then up at 8 for breakfast in bed (bacon & mushroom omelette, toast, camomile tea) and a quick drive into town.

I suspect the breakfast was to buy me off so I could drive my mate to an appointment. He went to that, and since it was a super gorgeous day I grabbed a coffee and walked along the beach.

Beach! (well, obviously) Also: City.

As isolated as New Zealand is from the rest of the world, it really is one incredibly picturesque place. As the song goes, you can't beat Wellington on a good day.

the local marina (was looking for a friend's exquisitely restored 1800s boat, but couldn't find it)

As I was wandering around, i got to thinking about mistakes. Now, I have (historically) been something of a type-A personality. Hard charging, ambitious, etc. The upside is, you get a lot done. The downside is you tend to be a pain in the ass to be around, but that's a whole other conversation. Oh, also, there's the ever-so-slight issue of perfectionism and the attendant self-criticism.

Now, as an example: I know I look good when I have about two days of beard growth. Now, I don't think of this as attractive. No, I think of it as "optimally hairy."

In other words, except for about 6 hours two days in, my facial hair is permanently sub-optimal. Wow, self-criticism much? *laugh*

Walking in the sun, I suddenly realised that I haven't been making mistakes my whole life (or having sub-optimal facial hair, now we're on the subject). What I'm really doing is experiencing previous karma. In other words, there's no way, at any given time and place with the knowledge and experience I had then, that I could have chosen otherwise. This is stuff I have had to get wrong, so I could learn from it.

Of course, we do dumb shit, suffer the consequences & thus (hopefully) grow, heal, unwind that karma. That is how we progress through life.

The key point is this: We may have to experience the same "mistakes" over and over and over. This isn't because we keep making them. It's because we have to keep growing, until such time as everything is in place, and we're finally ready to learn the whole lesson, not just the obvious, surface stuff.

The mistake is in looking too closely at any given action. "Oh, I went out with the same kind of shitbag again." What we're missing is that we're learning a ton of other things, and we're just working our way down through the layers, little by little, at a pace which is right for us.

Things are always perfect, even when they suck. All we've gotta do is just keep paying attention. Keep learning when we can, and keep loving ourselves.

Why? Because giving ourselves a hard time just adds to our misery. It doesn't help us learn, or grow, or heal. As much as our ego might like to convince us otherwise, it also doesn't prevent us making the same mistake in the future. Healing, learning and growing does that, not self-flagellation.

When we've truly grown past it, the opportunities for that mistake generally won't even appear. The shitbags disappear (of their own volition) out of our lives. And trust me, I've seen this, ohhh, many times.

So, you know, mini-satoris like this are always nice, but I still had more heavy duty walking around to get done!

Also, mental note: Buy a beard trimmer.

Because I'm such a raging narcissist, I simply had to take a self pic.

Self portrait, with boatsheds (note the Very Important Peace Sign)

I learned everything I need to know about posing for photographs from the Japanese tourists who used to endlessly harass us when I was training Aikido in Melbourne. (You have never seen such polite & deferential harassment in your life.)

For reference, these are the best swings (that I know of) in central Wellington. Look at the view from the top — wow!

I spent a LOT of time on these swings when I was last in town

I didn't get a chance to have a play — but that's ok, cute blondes take precedence, and anyway, I had to hurry along.

I also saw a perfect family outing:

Mum with the baby, daughter, dad

How cool is that? Dad's on a long board (kinda like a skateboard, but super long and very flexible). Note also his beanie: Official Hat of Wellington.

Oh, and if you were curious just how far my home is from here? (ie, looking in the other direction for once):

land of the long white cloud…

See those clouds, right off in the distance there? I'm staying juuuuust to the right of centre, right back there. Wouldn't want to swim there — for a start, the last 25kms is over solid ground. Luckily there's a motorway.

After that, I picked my mate up, and we went for a picnic in the gardens of Isengard (you remember them, right?)

Picnic. Not shown: food.

Those are my boots. I'm being utterly shameless today, I know.

Oh, and how could I possibly go past this?

Flying fox! FLYING FOX!!!!

This scared the living crap out of me when I first went on it (age: maybe 8 or 9).

It's quite vigorous when it hits the end.  Ok, ok, so these days I take a running jump off the platform to get maximum speed up, but still! It's definitely an activity that stands the test of time. I.e., still awesome. I love it!

I also saw a bunch of fantails, skipping around and being all fantaily (as is their wont)

Three guesses why it has the name it does…

They're an Australasian peculiarity, although this type is only found here in NZ. They're super cute, very flighty, and about the size of a sparrow. One came up to within a foot of us eating. Pretty amazing.

Bet you never thought you'd learn about birds coming here, now did you? Do I make you 'orni, baby?

And on that note, something utterly ridiculous. This is a local stationery company:

Seriously guys, buy a dictionary. Please.

It's like the company was named by someone who'd never used a writing implement before (*cough*illiterate*cough*). The. Mind. Boggles.

All in all, quite a delightful Thursday night/Friday morning adventure. A+++ would run delightedly out of the house clutching my toothbrush again.

You what?

The Gardens of Isengard (See? Hair! Staffs! All magic like!)

Yes, these gardens.

Well, ok ok, I actually live in a cottage. The gardens are (quite literally) across the road.

This is where my parents live. Rivendell is just up the road, and yep, in general the area is every bit as picturesque as in the movies (Lord of the Rings, in case you're not a complete nerd).

It's also kinda neat to be able to spend serious time with my family. This hasn't happened since I left home, twenty something years ago. It's super educational, and a great growth opportunity (which, of course, I simply love).

It is, however, quite a way from the nearest decent sized town (they call it a city, but I'm not 100% sold. Maybe city-lite?)

So how far away is it?

Well, the other day, I went to catch a bus.

Catching a bus is something I haven't done in… Well, I think the last time I caught a bus was in Seattle, in 2006.

That was the time some crack head woman started screaming at the top of her lungs then climbed out the window into traffic… and people wonder why public transport is so unpopular?

Anyway. I'm sitting on this bus. It's not particularly exciting as buses go. It looked like this:

This is a bus (note: no crack heads)

Right, now stare at that for (spoiler!) an hour.

The bus is ricketing around so much I can barely send a text message. I definitely can't read. Well, I could if I didn't mind losing my eyeballs, but I prefer them inside my head. I'm a bit of a fusspot like that.

Why was I even on the bus in the first place? The short version: my local drivers license got eaten by the gaping maw of Australian bureaucracy. I just need to order a new one; I simply haven't got around to it yet.

So, no driving = public transport time for moi. Thus, the bus.

If I was driving, it would take about 20 minutes to get into town. By bus? An hour.

The bus does not take the direct route. Colloquially this is known as "a tiki tour" — ie, a trip that appears to go everywhere & nowhere (much like life, I suppose).

Town's to the right, behind the tree..further..a little further..40km further..

After about twenty minutes, we were driving past horses. Seriously, horses live closer to the city than I do. Horses!!

So there I am, being jiggled around like popcorn in a pan, getting increasingly frustrated as the driver leads us deeper and deeper into suburbs unknown.

Then I suddenly had what my Sensei likes to call a mini–satori.

Why was I so annoyed by all this?

It was the thought of having to catch this bus on a regular basis. Wasting all that time, being unable to do anything about it. The thought of all the choices I've made that lead me to this situation.

But wait, this was the first time in my life I'd ever caught this bus. For all I know (who can predict the future?) it might well be the last time too.

I was getting all wound up about something that may or may not even happen, in the future.

I was being upset by stuff I couldn't change anyway, in the past.

The actual situation itself was, well, fine.

How often do we get our knickers all twisted over something that isn't even happening?

Often. VERY often.

As soon as I realised that, I was back in control.

I'm the boss of my brain.

I let go of my past decisions. For better or worse they've been made. For all my self-analysis, I know I made the best decisions I could with the information I had at that time.

It's always easy to look backwards (or stand outside) & judge. Any fool with a newspaper can do that. So, there's no value in criticising ourselves for the past (Learn from? Sure. Criticise? No)

And the future hasn't even happened yet.

I was feeling crappy for something that might never even occur.

Wow. We sure give ourselves a hard time. Well, I do, you're welcome to speak for yourself, of course.

The great news is — just realising it set it all free. I immediately relaxed. Prepped some peppy music. Laughed as the bus driver waved hello to all the families in their driveways (I swear, he knew the entire suburb). Sat back and enjoyed the gorgeous views rolling past.

Simple as that I was filled with an overwhelming love for the entire situation.

Maybe there really is something to this whole "present moment" mumbo jumbo. All those hairy old dudes, they can't have been right all this time, surely?

Nah… That'd be too easy.

How bad? Really bad. The worst I've felt in… months?

Kinda like this:

(Years back I used to sing this to myself every day at work… but that's a whole other story)

In fact, I distinctly remember thinking "God, I feel so crap even a blowjob wouldn't cheer me up today."

Which is pretty damn bad.

I have no idea why I felt so bad. I hadn't had a bad dream. Best guess was that I'd eaten too much licorice the night before and was suffering an extreme sugar crash. But, you know, if you don't know immediately, trying to figure out never helps (your brain just gets all tied up in knots).

I noticed my brain was just circling. Thoughts like "Holy fuckballs I'm in a shitastic mood" kept echoing in my head.

So, what to do?

1. First, I made a choice to think about something else, other than how bad I was feeling (repeating the same negative thought only makes you feel shitty. Changing that thought also reiterated that I'm the boss of my thoughts, not the other way around)
2. I consciously decided to be ok with the crappy mood (not beat myself up about it).
3. I asked myself "Could I choose to be 100% happy, even if was feeling crappy?" (pro tip, the answer is always "Yes". This didn't shift things completely, but it sure as hell helped. More on this later)
4. I ate, took multivitams and omega 3's (to stabilise my blood sugar)
5. I hid the licorice in the cupboard (take immediate, concrete action to remove negative influences from your environment)
6. I noticed & relaxed tension in my face (simple, but definitely helped me relax)
7. I emailed a friend for encouragement (Create an emotional support network. Help them. Let them help you)
8. I did a mindmap on whatever came to mind (nothing like a sugar crash to get you questioning the core of your existence). A little tapping, a little releasing.
9. I did some tapping on one of my CAP lists (always ensures I have a better day. More on those here)
10. I went to aikido (exercise, socialising with people I love, doing something I enjoy)
11. I rolled around on the grass with those beautiful trees (connection to nature)
12. I listened to loud, upbeat music (music has a strong effect on mood)
13. I basked in the sunshine, feeling warm concrete through my socks & the sun on my face (vitamin d elevates mood)

What helped? Maybe all of it. Maybe none of it. Maybe it's all bullshit. It doesn't really matter. I'm a huge fan of — if you have a problem, throw every possible solution at it. There's a million things you can try. Just do what feels right at the time. Trust your intuition.

After that, I listened to this:

And you know what? It felt pretty true.

I'm slowly learning, this journey isn't about being perfect. It's just about the highs slowly getting higher and more common. It's about when the lows do hit, how quickly you pull out of them. Over time, it gets faster & faster.

Not perfect; just more perfect, more often.

In case you haven't heard of reframing (or can't be bothered reading the wiki page), I'll quickly explain it.

Reframing is the act of taking something shitty, and spinning it to emphasise the (to you) positive aspects.

Here's a classic example:

Why yes, I have seen someone wearing this. Oh boy.

So really, it's just choosing to look at things from a better angle.

Here's another great example:

saying "Oh captain my captain" is optional

Often something as simple as standing on your desks can be enough to shift your entire viewpoint.

So, other than the myriad of cheap laughs, why bother reframing?

Because oftentimes dissolving a problem, or seeing your way past a situation can be as simple as changing how you look at it.

Audiences know what they expect and that is all they are prepared to believe in.

Unsurprisingly, it's like Shakespeare said "There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so" (Hamlet to Rosencrantz, how awesome is that?).

In other words, no situation makes things as difficult for us as how we think about that situation.

So, to reframing.

Until now, I've never really been convinced about reframing. What am I going to do? Just say something differently (lie to myself?) & hope it sticks?

Yeah, that never gelled.

Until I stumbled across this particular phrase:

"This is the fun bit"

I've got some pretty hairy stuff going down in my life right now (long, boring story — but also why I haven't posted much). And yep, it's been crazy stressful at times. A lot of uncertainty, a lot of confusion, a lot of what-the-eff?!?!

And yet every time I say that phrase to myself, everything instantly shifts.

"This is the fun bit"

• Things stop being crazy and out of control; they start being crazy and fun (like being attacked by 4 ukes at once in Aikido).

"This is the fun bit"

• Things stop being scary; they start being exhilarating (like a rollercoaster).

"This is the fun bit"

• Things stop being unpredictable; they start being thrilling (like an exciting movie).

"This is the fun bit"

• I stop freezing up because things are overwhelming; I start rolling with it all instead (like flowing effortlessly through a bustling crowd)

.. and as an added bonus, I've found that quite as a side effect, I instinctively & effortlessly dump a huge amount of negative energy around whatever-it-was that was bothering me in the first place.

It's the single most powerful thing I've found to say to myself in times of strife & difficulty.. and so, I pass it to you.

So, what to do about it?

Remember that saying "Trust in God, but paddle your own canoe" or my personal favourite "Trust in Allah, but tie up your camels"?

TIEING UP YOUR CAMELS

I noticed when I was much younger I would get stressed (feel overwhelmed) any time I had too much in my head.

Sitting down & writing out every thought that was buzzing around would help enormously. It would also show me that 90% of them were variants on the same issue (eg "Where am I going to find money to eat?")

Getting things out of your head & into some kind of system — whether that's an app, a piece of paper or a personal assistant — is the core of the Getting Things Done approach. There's a reason GTD is so popular. It works.

There's been a million books & blogs written about it, so I don't need to go into more detail here. The key aspect is this: Get every thought that's burbling inside OUT of you.

Us humans really aren't very good at holding too many thoughts in our heads at one time (the apocryphal number is 7 +/- 2). Thus, getting them out helps enormously. Then, any time a thought recurs, you can immediately dismiss it with "Yep, it's on the list."

Clear head = no overwhelm = no stress.

Once you have your list(s), group, sort & order them in whatever ways feels best for you, then take action. For me, "things to do today" and "some time", then ordering by "most important" with a smattering of "quick, easy" in there so I can get my coding momentum up seems to work best.

The TRUSTING ALLAH part

Ok, it's not a perfect analogy, but hey, roll with me here. Also, if you do have a camel, please let me know, I'd love a ride — crazy awesome!

Aside from getting everything out of my head, hands down the single best thing I've found is to use EFT (& ooh, I refound the video I had up there. You should check it out, it's really quite snazzy).

You don't even have to say anything while you tap. Usually, after I've done a single round (tapped from my head down to under my arms) I've already calmed down enormously. Two or three rounds — just while my thoughts are burbling around will clear a ton of energy off, and get me back into a super calm space.

Once you've calmed down a bit, feel free to rant (out loud is best, but not critical) to your heart's content. It really doesn't matter what you say. Just yabber about all the junk that's been flying around in your head. Tapping your meridian points will help take the energetic sting out of it super quickly.

In fact, I'm just amazed I haven't mentioned this earlier. I've used this on myself, and watched friends use it, literally hundreds of times over the last few years — always to great success.

There's no need for overwhelm to take over your life, your day, or even more than 5 or 10 minutes. Dump it and get the hell back into awesome-space.

Honey & almond bagel, best coffee in Melbourne (highly debatable, but still), beach. Perfect start to the day. I also spent roughly 12 hours meditating — which resulted in a perfect end.

I also did a digital detox — no internet, phone off, just BEING. It was a great call.

this was about an inch thick. It looked exactly like a jelly (I didn't check for taste authenticity)

beautiful yes…

.. but really NOT very friendly (a ton of these I never even knew existed)

city walk — notice the sign for the hook turn (hanging from the tram wires) — a Melbourne specialty

Also, a haircut. It's gone from unpredictable yet interesting to really quite funky. I do love when a hairdresser manages to surprise me with awesomeness.

Innocuous entryway leads into a sumptuous banquet hall, acres of fruit and vegetables.. my body SUNG for the rest of the day. Needless to say it would have been FAR too gauche to take a photo inside

Later, drinks at The Attic (upstairs from The Black Pearl Bar) — which is so new it doesn't even have a website yet. I was their fifth customer ever (yes, on 5/5). I mentioned that, & they gave me a free 23 yr old Ron Zacapa (which won the global rum awards five years in a row — until they created a hall of fame specifically for it, so it would stop competing & let some other rum win). It was like drinking malt extract, with a scrumptuous kick.

Unfortunately, I was so wowed by the immaculate service,and incredible interior to remember to take photos. Any bar that creates cocktails that require a blow torch (at the table) & fresh rosemary is all good by me though. Highly recommend, A++++ would visit again.

hoss

hello building!

a gentle nightcap (utterly delicious)

street art (note the milk crates next to it, for scale — elephants are always big, right?)

Actually quite a realistic forecast for mankind's evolution

I walk past these trees a LOT. They utterly captivate me every time. I heart them.

And the big lesson for the day seemed to be (although there was a ton of ancillary growth also):

Listen more deeply. Particularly, do not talk in order to:

• seem clever (think I've mostly already dumped this one, but still)
• try to gain approval from the other person
• try to control the conversation
• try to "help" (since this is typically just an ego based rationalisation for the first two)
• Or to tell them what you think they need. Just listen

All in all, not at all what I expected, but thoroughly great regardless.

*non-negative integers

Some back story. Last week or so, I biked into town to hang out with a friend. While we were getting a bite to eat, some 15 year old kids decided to trash my bike. They stole the seat, lights & reflectors, basically rendering it un-ridable.

The upshot of all that was two fold.

1. I got to watch my internal reaction to this event (almost zero — always nice to see progress)
2. I've been doing a lot more walking.

The walk to town is about an hour and a half, and since I meditate while I walk (I have some great audios), this has meant a good solid three hours meditation a day (plus what I normally do) every day for the last three days.

The growth I've been experiencing recently has been, much like the walk itself, gorgeous.

Which brings me to this evening.

I'd been in town all day (bit of this, bit of that), and about 9:15pm it was time to walk home.

It was pouring. And I mean POURING.

Oh, oh! I completely forgot, you may well need an introduction to misogi.

The term misogi covers a few things, but generally it refers to standing under freezing cold waterfalls. Typically this happens mid winter, sometimes for hours at a time, and often (in Aikido) holding a sword as you do.

Misogi generally looks something like this…

.. except this evening, when I ended up looking a little more like this

Misogi is a purification exercise. It teaches you to stay centered. Still mind, still body, no matter what happens. It's very simple mind-over-matter.

I got introduced to this through Ki Society (a branch of Aikido) about 20 years ago. So yes, I've done neck deep (& under) standing naked in mountain rivers in the middle of winter.

Let me tell you, it's.. quite an experience.

Anyway, back to this evening. One minor issue with misogi as a practice is the difficulty with finding a handy waterfall in, say, central Melbourne.

They're a little thin on the ground. Least of all because Australia is, for most intents & purposes, a desert.

So, this evening was quite a neat opportunity. It was about 14 degrees C (57F). Not exactly sub-zero, but certainly a good test.

Squelching along, drenched to the skin, while remaining as present as I possibly good was.. well, delightful.

After about an hour of this, I was meditating on there being "nothing to change." Or perhaps more accurately, that I felt that yes indeed there were several things I'd like to change, just at that moment (my shoes, shirt, pants, for a start.. and maybe swap my headphones for an umbrella).

I was reminded of the classic story of the Zen master Banzan. He was walking through the market when he heard a customer tell the butcher "I want the best meat, so give me the best."

The butcher replied "Every piece of meat is the best." And, so the story goes, upon hearing this Banzan became enlightened.

As I remembered this, I realised — life is nothing but a series of "nows", and every now is perfect.

(Of course, the only thing telling us otherwise is our silly old monkey mind)

I felt a huge rush of energy (& a ton of stuff leaving), and continued trudging along, tears of joy pouring down my face.

This knowledge is nothing new, I first heard it 20 years ago, and I am sure I will need to learn it again.

In that moment though, that one glorious moment, I suddenly heard hundreds of birds happily chirping in the trees, cars swishing past, and I didn't just know it in my brain but in my heart.

The logic of this is reasonably straight forward. Our brains don't understand negatives particularly well. This is why when you drive a car, you look where you want to go, not at the thing you're trying to avoid (coz you'll veer towards it).

Thus, whatever you're thinking about you tend to create more of. It doesn't matter too much if it's a positive (I like that) or negative (I hate that) thought.

Of course, this is one of the core benefits of releasing (or EFT). As your mind lets go of circling things you hate, those things tend to fall away from your life.

If your feelings towards something are purely loving, you lose that obsessive mental grip that things we dislike have. We lose those recurring negative thoughts.  Therefore, we stop drawing those things we dislike to us.

So where do you draw the line?

It's very simple. Every thought and emotion in your life is either loving or nonloving.

Simplifying like this keeps everything very, very clear.

It also removes the need to try and figure anything out (which just gets our ego/brain involved — never helping). It stop us getting tied up in definitions ("Am I angry, miffed, annoyed, irritated or just antsy?"). It cuts short the spiral into obsessive thought patterns.

I'm usually not a fan of dichotomous (either/or) thinking, but in this case it's actually very helpful. Simple is good.

So, if that thought or emotion is loving? Great. If it's non-loving? Say "I love you" & let it go. Remember "I love you"? Arguably the core of the four most powerful phrases in English.

So what's the best way of going about this? Well, here's what I've found so far. And when I say "best" I mean most thorough, permanent & quickest.

The Approach

Generally speaking, when you think about something you dislike (have non-loving feelings towards), there will be a physical sensation (a clutching or tension) that goes with it. This usually appears in our stomach or chest. Why does this happen? Simply because our energy, emotions, bodies and minds are all part of one holistic system. Nothing operates independently.

As you continue to think of that thing, if you say "I love you" you can simply open an imaginary door over your stomach or chest (where the tension is) and let that energy out.

This works best especially when you don't feel loving, because that will bring these contrary feelings to the surface even more vividly. Keep saying "I love you" and letting it out, and the clutching will disappear altogether.

People

Relationships are the core of our lives. "No man is an island" and all that guff. Ideally, you'd feel loving towards every person in your life. Why? Because then any time you think about anybody, you'll feel great! How awesome would that be? It's a trick question. The answer is very.

Start with the people you have the most nonloving feelings for. Why? Because you'll gain the most by changing those feelings to ones of love. Why would you want to love someone who's currently driving you mad? Simple. Because the negative thoughts & feelings you're harbouring are only hurting one person: You.

You're not doing any of this for that other person. You're doing this for you.

Also, be sure to get around to loving your family at some point, since they're the ones with whom we have the most complex emotional relationships.

So, what to do:

1. Imagine each person in front of you.
2. Say "I love you" to that picture you're holding of them.
3. Let go of all tension, feelings & thoughts that arise (remember, you are the boss here, not the thoughts or feelings)
4. Repeat until all the clutching is gone, and you genuinely feel loving towards that person

Of course, no person is one dimensional. So go through every non-loving event that happened with that person (just whatever pops into your mind). Remember the situation, what they said, etc. Keep circling it in your mind, all the while saying "I love you" & releasing all thoughts and feelings that come up, until you feel 100% loving about that situation with that person.

It may seem like this will take forever, but once you get into the swing of it, it goes faster and faster. I've waded through 20 year relationships in a half an hour while wandering around town. The reason it gets easier is because as you continue you're becoming more and more loving towards them. That energy builds up, so stuff drops away ever quicker.

Events

Sometimes events may not necessarily be about a specific person. That's ok too.

As described above, imagine the event in as much clarity as you can. Let the feelings come up. Say "I love you" to the event; to the feelings, and let them go. Repeat until you feel nothing but love for the situation.

A good test is if you can emphatically and honestly declare "I am so happy that happened." Repeat until you can.

Ourselves

Everybody dislikes their body. Or aspects of their bodies. There's always something. So, just think about each part of your body in turn, say "I love you" to it, and let all the resentment, dislike and ugliness we've been carrying around dissipate. Yes, this may take a while, but remember, you've probably been carrying those nonloving feelings around most of your life. Be patient with yourself.

Unsurprisingly by now, keep going until you feel loving about every single part of yourself. You'll be amazed how much better you'll feel about the world in general when you feel completely loving towards yourself.

Abstract Concepts

By this I mean "anything that's hard to picture in your mind". For example, "being lazy" or "feeling unmotivated."

With these, a slightly different approach is helpful. Rather than saying "I love you" — because it's hard to connect with it — just ask yourself "Can I let 'it' go?" Don't let your brain get all tied up in knots over what "it" is. What you're trying to do. How it's working or any of that.

Just ask, and answer (particularly if you're feeling adamantly opposed) "Yes." Keep asking "Can I let 'it' go?" and keep answering "Yes."

Just saying "yes" has power. All the power you need. It puts you into a state of courageousness, since you're making a decision, a choice. You just saying that you're letting it go is enough to send that energy, that tension flying out of your body.

Keep saying "yes!" and you'll feel it all lift off and away.

As always, keep it simple. Our brains like to complicate things, but it never helps.

What to do if you get stuck

If you get stuck with saying "I love you", or you feel like it's not shifting out, there are a couple of things you can do.

1. Physically tap yourself over the spot where you're feeling the clutching. That'll shake up the energy & help it shift out.
2. If you're saying "I love you", then try mixing it up with some "Can I let this go?" "Yes!". That brings your inner power into play.
3. If you've been doing all this in your head, try saying it out loud (& forcefully). A lot of times that verbalisation helps connect us much more strongly.
4. Try injecting the word "still" or "all", for example "I still love you", or "can I let all of this go?" Don't save any little bits for later.
5. If you're into it, feel free to draw down as much energy as you like from the universe to amp your "I love you"s the hell up. (Just imagine a bright white light coming down into your head then into whatever you're dealing with, that'll do the trick)
6. Experiment. Play with it. Find what works best for you.

How to say "I Love You"

Ha ha, you think I'm kidding. No, I'm serious.

I've talked about saying "I love you" in the past. Back then, I figured being super light hearted was the best appraoch. Having a light heart is great, but I've since learned there are ways to take that light heart and really amp up the power.

For a start, you want to make sure you're in a good mood before you start any of this. Good posture, a good night's sleep, water & food will help with this, obviously. Your body is your temple (and so on).

There are three specific energetic states that are ideal to aim for.

• Courageousness (simply sitting up straight and emphatically repeating "Yes" will get you into this state pretty quickly)
• Acceptance (a state of "it is what it is". Saying that to everything in your life/mind & letting go of everything else will get you here)
• Peace (a state of knowing. To quote The Matrix, "Don't Think you are, Know you are." This is a state of being — rather than thinking, worrying and so on)

Any of these states is ideal. Peace is the most powerful. That's when you're fully connected to your true power. Meditation will get you there. I have to be in that state to experience my best, most loving Aikido. Peace is the flow state.

So. Now you're in that high, calm, place. Then start thinking about events, people and yourself.

When you're saying "I love you", say it calmly, with all the attention & inner conviction you can muster. Or, if you want to, shout it with all the enthusiasm and outer conviction you can muster; that's great too. The critical thing is just that the more you can manage to mean it, the more powerfully it will sweep all that garbage out of you.

How do you achieve that when part of you is screaming "No, no fucking way, I do not love them"?

Remember how you are not your mind, you're not your body, you're not your emotions? This is where you show them all who's boss. Just by answering "Yes" (when your mind is screaming "No"), you take control. You are the boss. So just say it.

Saying "Yes" is just a choice. Saying "I love you" is just a choice. The more you say it, the more true it will become, as everything non-loving disappears.

It really is that simple. Force yourself to say it. Keep saying it. You know what will happen? Your ego will wail, complain, bitch & moan (as usual).. and then, it'll all start to fade. We live on automatic so much, letting our emotions and thoughts push us around, so it's easy to forget who's really in charge.

Remember, you're doing this for you, not for anyone else. You're doing it so you feel better. With that in mind, just force yourself to say (out loud if that helps) "I love you." Then simply let all that internal noise, the physical tension, the emotional crap just float out of you.

Why bother?

The reason we (occasionally) feel crap is very simple. We have crappy thoughts, and crappy emotions. Let go of them, replace them with loving thoughts and emotions and what will happen? That's right, we'll stop feeling crappy. We'll just feel loving, all the time. Or at the very least, a hell of a lot more of the time.

As an added bonus, the people around you will notice. Maybe not consciously, but you will see their behaviour towards you change as you shift to only ever having loving thoughts and feelings towards them.

Why do you think people have pets? Because everybody craves unconditional love, and animals give it. People respond to this, at an incredibly deep level.

How much easier will it be to do your work, go about your day, to live, if all you have are loving feelings towards everything?

Incredibly easy. Happy. Effortless. Exactly the way life is supposed to be, we just plop out on this plane and forget. So now's the time to remember. I love you.