"If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?"
— Buddha
I heard this quote the other day (thanks @tinybuddha), and it hit like a ton of bricks.
When I was growing up, I was always told "If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Conceptually this is the same thing, except that it's negatively framed and a little dictatorial in tone — I guess it's not surprising my younger self rebelled! Still, I guess this is the point where I say "Yes Mum, you were right. Again. I love you Mum."
Buddha provides a pretty simple checklist. Makes it easy to remember.
- True? Yes/No.
- Necessary? Yes/No.
- Kind? Yes/No.
I thought about this a bit deeper & I realised, speech is one level, but what's behind speech?
Thought.
Couldn't the same thing apply here? If you're going to think anything, ensure it is True, Necessary & Kind.
Of course, the vast majority of thoughts are simply self-speech — talking to or about ourselves. We're the cruelest & least forgiving toward ourselves, so if anything this self-speech, thought, is far, far more important to consider.
So, being the extremist that I am, I tapped those two things in — both speech & thought. Because it's tapping IN a positive, instead of tapping OUT a negative, it's worth having a few goes to clear out all the blocks.. but already I'm feeling my attitudes — towards those around me — and myself — softening.
It's a path well worth travelling, no matter how few or how those steps are taken.
