si dawson

Com­par­ing our­selves to oth­ers is for noobs!
As peo­ple, we're funny. There's this nat­ural ten­dency to com­pare our­selves to others.

Typ­i­cally, we do some­thing like this:

1. Me: $30
2. Don­ald Trump: $eleventy billion
3. Con­clu­sion: I suck

or maybe

1. Me: kinda good looking
2. Angelina Jolie: super hot (if you go for that sort of thing)
3. Con­clu­sion: I suck

There are a cou­ple of obvi­ous issues here. One might be our choice of attribute to com­pare. I'm sure this won't come as a sur­prise, but peo­ple are a bit more com­plex than just hot­ness + wealth.

So why com­pare our­selves based on wealth, or hot­ness? Just coz peo­ple are gen­er­ally deluded into believ­ing they're impor­tant? It's as arbitary & ridicu­lous as lin­ing up the planet accord­ing to nose freckliness!

So, maybe if we are going to com­pare our­selves to oth­ers, we should just choose bet­ter. Eg

1. Me: Nice hair
2. Don­ald Trump: Nice toupee?
3. Con­clu­sion: I rock!

Now, this isn't about tak­ing cheap shots at famous peo­ple. Far from it.

It's a nat­ural ten­dency to com­pare our­selves to oth­ers, par­tic­u­larly when we think they're bet­ter than us in some way. Know what though? It's pretty much bullshit.

Mak­ing these com­par­isons is a recipe for mis­ery & dis­as­ter. But you already knew that.

Too many peo­ple over­value what they are not and under­value what they are. ~Mal­colm S. Forbes

So here's a bet­ter sug­ges­tion. Just be you.

In fact, here's a even bet­ter sug­ges­tion than that. Why not be the most amaz­ing you you pos­si­bly can be?

Do you reckon when you get up to heaven, God'll say to you "Man, you were the lousi­est Jack Black ever!"? Of course not. There's already a Jack Black here & he's doing a per­fectly good job of being him, thankyouverymuch.

You're here with one pur­pose. To be you.

Not to be any­one else. Not even to be like any­one else, unless you really want to be (& I've gotta admit, Jack's mani­a­cal grin does have a cer­tain appeal).

Other people's opin­ions are none of my busi­ness
Hey, & while we're on the sub­ject, what's up with car­ing what any­one else thinks?

They're here to live their life. You're here to live your life. If they want to think your life is par­tic­u­larly silly? Well, uhh, so what?

After all, they are allowed to have any opin­ion they like. Doesn't make it true! And, while we're there, you're wel­come to have any opin­ion you like about their life. Doesn't make your opin­ion true either (although, of course, we all like to think we're right. Heh)

If you've been hang­ing out on Twit­ter, you'll know exactly what I mean. You say some­thing, & sud­denly peo­ple unfol­low you. What the?!? Well, you know what? If they don't like what you say, why would you want them fol­low­ing you any­way? If they don't like who you truly are (assum­ing you're being gen­uinely your­self, of course) then they're going to make pretty lousy friends.

Ahh, life, it's a funny old thing.

So, to recap. Just be you. What any­one else thinks of you? Well, that's really none of your busi­ness, so just let it go. That's their prob­lem, not yours.

But who am I?
Now of course, all this just raises another ques­tion. How the hell do you know who you are? The "Why am I here?" ques­tion is one of life's biggies.

Well, here's a secret. This is why we have emo­tions. They're like lit­tle signposts.

Basi­cally, any­thing you do which takes you closer to a place of true joy? That's you. That's you really being you.

I'm not talk­ing about enjoy­ment — the brief hap­pi­ness that comes from eat­ing an ice­cream or a par­tic­u­larly sat­is­fy­ing game of Halo — I'm talk­ing about deep, abid­ing joy.

Here, watch this video. See the spark on their faces? That's joy. That's a cou­ple of peo­ple doing what's near­est & dear­est to their hearts.

Know what? You have that inside you too. Maybe you've found it, maybe you haven't yet, but it's there.

There's some­thing, or many things, that are super easy to you. That you just hap­pen to be great at. You prob­a­bly don't think it's so much, but other peo­ple look & go "Wow, how are you so awe­some at that?" Well, that's where you should be look­ing. That's a clue.

If time seems to stand still, or the whole day dis­ap­pears while you're doing some­thing? That's a clue too.

If some­thing is mak­ing you feel crap­pier? Well, that's a sign you prob­a­bly shouldn't be doing it so much. We're here to be happy, after all. How do I know? The Dalai Lama told me, & who am I to argue with him!

Find­ing that joy, that rai­son d'etre? That's the thing to chase. Or rather, that's the thing to chill out, stop stress­ing about life & let it find you. Just pay atten­tion, it's there, you'll see it.

Big­ger is not bet­ter. Think qual­ity not quan­tity
Oh, & while we're on the sub­ject? This whole fas­ci­na­tion the west­ern world seems to have with chang­ing the world? That the only life worth liv­ing is one where the whole world knows your name? Well, screw that too.

Life is much, much sim­pler than that. Sure, some peo­ple are gonna be the Mother Therasas, the Bill Gate­ses, the Michael Jor­dans (ha ha, name plu­rals crack me up) of the world, but that's not what it's about.

It's about the peo­ple around you. Those are the peo­ple that you're really affecting.

If you're filled with joy & doing what you love, even if it's some­thing as sim­ple as tend­ing the gar­den out the front of your cot­tage, you're adding so much light to the world. When you're happy, the peo­ple around you feel that. They get hap­pier. The world needs more happy peo­ple, so start with you.

For­get about the starv­ing chil­dren in Africa (unless that's where your joy is). Every day you're slightly hap­pier, slightly more full of joy, doing that which brings you joy, the world is a bet­ter place. The peo­ple around you will be in a bet­ter place because of you. You'll be inspir­ing them.

That's all that mat­ters. Every­thing else is just details.

It's ok to have what the world might deem a small life. What mat­ters is just that you lived it fully. That you fol­lowed your heart. That, as much as pos­si­ble, you felt that joy inside you & let it spill out into the world around you. Whether the world that you influ­ence has five bil­lion peo­ple in it or only five is entirely irrel­e­vant. Think qual­ity, not quantity.

Just as a ris­ing tide lifts all boats, so you in your joy­ful place will lift all those around you. Be that tide. Be truly you.