si dawson

I’d been feeling pretty crappy for a couple of days.

None of my tools really seemed to be doing it for me, and all in all I’d been feeling quite lost.

Here’s what I started doing to fix it.

Saying “yes”.

And then saying “yes” some more.

And some more. (and some more)

Here’s the thing. By a huge margin, “yes” is the most positive thing we can say. Kinda obvious I know.

Interestingly, it also has a disproportionate effect on our brains when we say it.

Don’t believe me though. Try it yourself.

1. Say “No” repeatedly and emphatically for ten seconds or so. Now see how you feel.
2. Say “Yes” repeatedly and emphatically for ten seconds or so. Now see how you feel.

It’s not an accident there are so many books (yep, that’s over 500,000) pushing people towards “yes”.

In any kind of sales or negotiation (which if you stop and think about it is most of life), if you can get the person saying yes ABOUT ANYTHING, they’ll be significantly more likely to say yes to the specific thing you want them to (eg “buy this car” or “make me a sandwich”).

Saying yes changes our brains.

Now of course, even though saying yes by itself might be helpful, there are some simple ways we can really step this up a notch.

First is tweaking our posture. Improve our posture and we’ll immediately improve our state of well being.

So, I did that. I sat up straight. Ok, so I jammed myself against a wall, since I didn’t really feel like sitting up straight. But it still helped.

Second thing is to let go of any angry or opposing thoughts, or any physical tension that arises while we’re saying yes.

Yep, release the mental and physical noise.

Why does this occur?

Well, let’s take it in steps.

Why are we feeling crappy? Well, there’s going to be something upsetting us, right?

So, instinctively, we’ll be resisting this (because it’s upsetting). Ie, saying “no” to this whatever-it-is.

Now, when we consciously choose to say yes, what are we doing? We’re loving whatever-this-awful-thing-is.

We’re choosing to be loving about it. Which is always helpful.

However, any resistance is going to come racing to the top – ie, anything in us that is the opposite of loving.

Usually it’s pretty obvious. We’ll feel clutching or a physical tension in our stomach or chest. Our brain will be screaming “What the hell? No WAY am I saying YES. That guy’s an asshole” (etc *yawn* etc)

Well, that’s all very nice, but really, that resistance IS the reason we’re feeling crappy (not whatever the resistance is actually about).

It’s not the event that affects us, only our reactions to it.

It’s nothing to do with what’s outside us. It’s actually (as always) what’s INSIDE that matters.

Events don’t bother us. Our reactions TO those events bother us.

So anyway. Saying yes brings all this junk to the surface.

And then we can let it go.

Mantras are all very well and good. It’s definitely smart to focus on what you want. Eg, feeling more positive.

However, unless you actually work on the energy surrounding it, you’re not going to get very far. In other words, clear your FEELINGS about whatever it is that’s bothering you.

Saying “yes” externally while internally you’re screaming “no” is just gonna leave you spinning in an unhappy circle.

Hence, posture. Hence, releasing.

Oh, and water. Water is always recommended.

(I also find physically tapping anywhere I feel tension helps to unblock the energy and let it out too).

So anyway. This is what I did. I sat up straight. I drank some water. I said “yes”, over and over to myself. I let go of any noise (physical, mental, emotional) that floated up.

And you know what? I did start to feel better. Not the fastest I ever have – but when you’re super low, you’re really too low to do very much. It all helps.

The key thing is, it lifted me up enough, just enough that I could start using more powerful tools.

It got me back on track.

And really, isn’t that just what’s needed, at least every now and then?