si dawson

Or is it all just pat­terns, repeat­ing over and over?

As you may be aware, I recently went through a breakup. As I've been pro­cess­ing this, I've started to see, very clearly, how lit­tle of what hap­pened with the ex was actu­ally about her.

I saw:

• Pat­terns where she behaved iden­ti­cally to sev­eral dif­fer­ent ear­lier rela­tion­ships (in dif­fer­ent ways) — Of course, this is me draw­ing this into my life so I can learn, it's really noth­ing to do with her specif­i­cally at all.
• Two dif­fer­ent pat­terns from my father to me (ie, I was repeat­ing his pat­tern­ing with me, with her)

Now, thank­fully, I can go in (with EFT, or what­ever) and stop those pat­terns — by going back to the ear­li­est one I can think of, and then work­ing for­ward through the recur­rences, heal­ing each one. This is, unsur­pris­ingly, what I've done.

How­ever, com­bined with recent real­i­sa­tions on ances­tors and how those pat­terns are passed down, I have to won­der — how many of these pat­terns are actu­ally mine? Are they ALL just passed down from pre­vi­ous gen­er­a­tions (or per­haps pre­vi­ous lives)? Am I liv­ing any­thing new at all?

I mean, sure, I could eat toast with peanut but­ter & veg­emite. Never done that before (Actu­ally, I lie. As a kid I ate a lot of weird stuff with peanut butter).

But in terms of emo­tional inter­ac­tions. Neg­a­tive events in my life. All these things seem to be just mas­sive loops.

I guess this is what the ancients talked about in terms of unwind­ing karma. You'll keep repeat­ing every­thing that has come before until you learn the lessons required, or heal the events away.

The other thing to watch that is very inter­est­ing is that as those pat­terns are healed, you can vis­i­bly see those peo­ple who might cause that kind of pain in your life nat­u­rally being pushed away from you. Very organic, very "coin­ci­den­tal", very "well, it just hap­pened". Once the pat­tern­ing is healed the asso­ci­ated pain does in a very real sense sim­ply stop recur­ring in your life. And yes, this is exactly why I broke up with my ex. Even more inter­est­ing is see­ing how dif­fer­ent the new peo­ple that come into your life now become. It is imme­di­ately obvi­ous that they sim­ply aren't built to cre­ate those sorts of neg­a­tive events (although, of course, they're quite capa­ble of cre­at­ing any unre­solved pain patterns).

Highly amus­ingly, if you're aggres­sively sort­ing through things (as I have been), you can watch this hap­pen in real­time. Meet some­one on Mon­day, event occurs on Wednes­day, realise pat­tern & heal it Wednes­day night, and they're gone (along with any recur­rence of that pat­tern, ever) on Thursday.

If all this is true, then the­o­ret­i­cally at least, I should have kids, so they can ben­e­fit from this — ie, by pass­ing less junk down the ances­tral tree. Maybe just for now I'll have some the­o­ret­i­cal kids instead.