Bad Morning

This morning I woke up feeling bad.

How bad? Really bad. The worst I’ve felt in… months?

Kinda like this:

(Years back I used to sing this to myself every day at work… but that’s a whole other story)

In fact, I distinctly remember thinking “God, I feel so crap even a blowjob wouldn’t cheer me up today.”

Which is pretty damn bad.

I have no idea why I felt so bad. I hadn’t had a bad dream. Best guess was that I’d eaten too much licorice the night before and was suffering an extreme sugar crash. But, you know, if you don’t know immediately, trying to figure out never helps (your brain just gets all tied up in knots).

I noticed my brain was just circling. Thoughts like “Holy fuckballs I’m in a shitastic mood” kept echoing in my head.

So, what to do?

  1. First, I made a choice to think about something else, other than how bad I was feeling (repeating the same negative thought only makes you feel shitty. Changing that thought also reiterated that I’m the boss of my thoughts, not the other way around)
  2. I consciously decided to be ok with the crappy mood (not beat myself up about it).
  3. I asked myself “Could I choose to be 100% happy, even if was feeling crappy?” (pro tip, the answer is always “Yes”. This didn’t shift things completely, but it sure as hell helped. More on this later)
  4. I ate, took multivitams and omega 3’s (to stabilise my blood sugar)
  5. I hid the licorice in the cupboard (take immediate, concrete action to remove negative influences from your environment)
  6. I noticed & relaxed tension in my face (simple, but definitely helped me relax)
  7. I emailed a friend for encouragement (Create an emotional support network. Help them. Let them help you)
  8. I did a mindmap on whatever came to mind (nothing like a sugar crash to get you questioning the core of your existence). A little tapping, a little releasing.
  9. I did some tapping on one of my CAP lists (always ensures I have a better day. More on those here)
  10. I went to aikido (exercise, socialising with people I love, doing something I enjoy)
  11. I rolled around on the grass with those beautiful trees (connection to nature)
  12. I listened to loud, upbeat music (music has a strong effect on mood)
  13. I basked in the sunshine, feeling warm concrete through my socks & the sun on my face (vitamin d elevates mood)

What helped? Maybe all of it. Maybe none of it. Maybe it’s all bullshit. It doesn’t really matter. I’m a huge fan of – if you have a problem, throw every possible solution at it. There’s a million things you can try. Just do what feels right at the time. Trust your intuition.

After that, I listened to this:

And you know what? It felt pretty true.

I’m slowly learning, this journey isn’t about being perfect. It’s just about the highs slowly getting higher and more common. It’s about when the lows do hit, how quickly you pull out of them. Over time, it gets faster & faster.

Not perfect; just more perfect, more often.