Dealing To Fear
Fear is very simple.
Our usual reaction to fear, anxiety, in fact any “negative” or “unpleasant” emotion is to avoid it. To either push it down or try to escape it (booze, sex, TV etc).
And this works!
All it really does is push that emotion back down again, but, like an unkillable hydra, it will in time rear itself up to bite us on our proverbial asses.
So, what’s a better way to deal with fear?
Well, there’s a super easy way, but you’ve gotta be willing to try something different.
In fact, you’ve got to be willing to do the exact opposite (If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, why the hell not give it a shot? Worst case and it doesn’t work, you’re exactly where you are already)
Here’s what you do: Rather than push it down, welcome it up.
Of course, this goes against our natural instincts (“Our hand hurts, we take it off the stove”). But maybe something unobvious is what’s needed here.
It’s actually very simple (aren’t most Truths?)
Rather than saying “No” to the fear or other negative emotion, say “Yes” to it. Literally.
- Address the fear and say “Yes” to it, out loud.
- Welcome that feeling up
- Feel it (in your stomach or chest)
- Then, open a door or window (whatever works for you) right over that feeling, and just let the emotion leave.
It’s the funny thing with emotions, the only reason they appear in the first place is because they want to leave.
All emotions want to leave.
Our instinct-to-avoid thus prevents this.
You can send the feeling love “I love you, and it’s time for you to leave.” You can just allow it to leave “I allow you to leave.” You can ask it if it wants to leave “Fear, do you want to leave?” Tap along with it. All of these work.
The key is just that you stop resisting the feeling. Stop saying “No” to it and say “Yes” instead. Send the feeling love instead of hate.
Much like learning to drive – when we see oncoming lights, our instinct is to swerve towards the lights – which is why we need to be taught to steer towards the side of the road. Sometimes our instincts do steer us wrong.
The answer is so incredibly simple. The opposite of our instincts, not always easy, but simple.
Say yes to all non-loving feelings, and just let them go.
What do you have to lose. You’re already in pain anyway*, right?
Just say yes.
* You’re not in pain? You have no fear? Awesome. Then keep saying yes. Say yes to love, to happiness, to joy! Say yes to being The Most Amazing You Ever!