When we’re upset, it’s very easy to get our brains tied up in knots.
Things start spiralling and next thing we know, our monkey mind is chattering away at a thousand miles an hour (ie, 1600km/h).
In times like this, it’s important to keep things simple: Just say “I love you” and let it go.
When we start trying to figure something out, we typically end up tangled up in the very brain that was causing the problem in the first place.
Hence my recommending EFT – no matter how crazy our brains are, we can always whack ourselves in the face.
There’s another technique I’ve found recently that’s just as simple and maybe even more powerful than EFT.
It goes like this:
Any time we’re upset, if we pay attention to our physical bodies (not just what’s whizzing around our noodles) we’ll feel tension.
- Sometimes this is a clutching feeling.
- Sometimes it’s actual muscle tension.
- Sometimes it might just feel like an unusual pain.
- Sometimes it may even feel like we’re hungry – but in an odd part of our stomachs.
- Sometimes it can be quite subtle – a low down fogginess with no real centre.
Typically these feelings are in our chest or stomach, but not always.
These feelings are merely the physical manifestation of the emotional and/or mental turmoil we’re experiencing.
Remember how our system (physical, mental, emotional, energetic) all works in conjunction with itself? Each is part of an integrated whole. Yeah, that.
Since all these parts are related and working in harmony, we can fix one to fix the others. This is exactly the same as changing our posture to improve our mood.
Here’s how to do it:
- Focus your attention on the physical discomfort you’re feeling – however subtle
- Say “I love you” (out loud is stronger, but not critical)
- Let that feeling go
- Rinse, Wash, Repeat as necessary
Remember, you’re the boss. All it takes to let these kinds of energetic discomfort go is for you to decide. Yes, really.
Now, often we’ll hang on to something without necessarily realising that’s what we’re doing. Maybe we like being a victim (it can be a way to get approval, after all) or maybe we’re don’t believe we can change it (feelings of powerlessness/wanting control). There’s lots of possible explanations.
(pro tip: you can easily dump these reasons the same way – identify them, feel the feeling, say “I love you” and let them go)
Regardless of any reasons for hanging onto this feeling, we can choose to let it go. If we genuinely decide, it will always respond.
Remember also, how we react is independent of what’s actually happening to us – we may not control the stimulus, but we always control our response.
So does it matter if we don’t feel that love when we say it?
No, not to start with.
The fact that you are making the choice and setting the intent, that is where the magic is. That’s the real secret.
Even just saying “I love you” will start to loosen things up. The more strongly, lovingly and powerfully you say it, the more power you will have.
To begin though, even just saying the phrase will help, so start with that.
A lot of times, simply saying “I love you” to something unpleasant will immediately engender an internal screaming response.
Guess what though? That screaming is exactly what you’re healing. That resistance is exactly what’s keeping you in pain. THAT is the energy coming to the surface.
For me, I often also find myself yawning to let that energy go.
Having a strong internal reaction is a good thing. It tells you you’re on the right track. Keep loving, keep letting go, and you’ll be amazed how quickly things will drop away.
I’ve been using this technique a lot over the last week or few, and there’s a ton of things that have bugged me for absolutely years that I’ve dropped away in a few seconds each.
I just say whatever it is, welcome the feeling up, focus on that feeling, say “I love you”, have a good yawn and let it go. Bingo bango bongo, as easy as that.
The great thing with this approach is:
- It’s so simple, even when we’re starting to spiral, it helps cut everything off before it gets out of hand.
- It yanks us out of “automatic mode” and back into authority over ourselves.
- It stops that internal shit storm which so often results after we start really obsessing about something unpleasant.
- It stops us from beating ourselves up.
Saying “I love you” and letting stuff go keeps us out of our brains and centred in our hearts. It keeps us present, peaceful and loving.
Really, what more could we want?