Category Archives: self-improvement

Forgetting to Love Ourselves

I recently got some new shirts. As I was ironing them for the first time I realised — these shirts (while possibly the nicest and most expensive I've ever owned) were going to require ironing every time I wore them. To which I immediately thought "Well, I guess I won't be wearing them much then." And I

Detecting and Dispersing Disapproval

Disapproval is a subtle one. It's often harder to detect than anger — its shouty, ranty cousin. It slips under our radar, disquised as a "but" at the end of another otherwise loving sentence. "I love my girlfriend but…" "We have a great life but…" or perhaps an "if only": "I'd love her so much more if only…"

The Fastest I Have Ever Been Rejected

The other night we started drinking at about 9:30pm after a very long day at work. We didn't finish until ridiculously late (well, early). Now, get enough beers in me & I get a bit crazy. A bit "everyone deserves to feel good, so why not compliment them?" crazy. Perhaps unsurprisingly, in a bar situation

Confidence Is Not So Bad

Yesterday I bumped into an ex-girlfriend's mum. She's a lovely woman who I have an enormous amount of respect for. However, their family has a very traditional view of success/failure. So, in terms of what I've been through recently, a lot of stuff came up for me. By the end of our conversation, despite the

The Long Dark Listlessness of The Soul

One of the hardest things for me to let go of has been… well… I don't know. A feeling of dread? Ennui? Listlessness? Dissatisfaction? Lack of contentment? A dark heavy cloud hiding at the edge of my awareness? I really don't know. And that, in a nutshell, is exactly the problem. How do you let go of

Learning To Love Everything

Unconditional love is a slippery little bugger. The basic problem is judgement. As soon as our brain screams "This guy doesn't deserve love" or "Yes he does!" then voila, it's no longer unconditional. Yes, even deciding someone does deserve love is not unconditional. But ok, let's back up a bit. Why the hell bother with

Apathy vs Acceptance

Inner peace is very easy; Just stop giving a shit. Well, you know, for crappy versions of 'inner peace.' It's very easy to think we're at peace and have finally accepted something, when really we've accidentally slipped into apathy. You might be peaceful, but you probably won't be happy. All healing, growing or goals we have are

On Judgement

The bible said "Judge not lest ye be judged" — which is pretty funny considering the whole book is chock full of judgement. Touch a football? check. Get a tattoo? check. Sell your daughter as a sex slave? Oh, no actually, that one's ok. Of course, Jesus also said "forget that old testament, honky, all

Gratitude vs Appreciation

First, my apologies, this is going to be an airy-fairy and slightly word-nerdy post. I've been thinking for weeks about how to concretise it a bit, without too much success. Gratitude lists are super popular (yes, 60 million pages). It's very simple why — by focusing on what's good in your life, you attract more

Anything You Ever Wanted, Get It From Yourself

I realised a long time ago the truism that "What annoys me most in others is what annoys me about myself". This is one of the reasons I've come back to live with my folks for a while. I'd got about as far as I easily could peering into my own navel. Much easier to