Category Archives: healing

Healing Original Sin

This is (kinda, mostly) one for the ex-Catholics. I was introduced to the concept of original sin at the tender age of eight. Without getting into all the heavy duty argy bargy about it, the basic gist is this: We all have a wrongness at our very core, ostensibly stemming from Adam's fall from grace (eating the

Forgetting to Love Ourselves

I recently got some new shirts. As I was ironing them for the first time I realised — these shirts (while possibly the nicest and most expensive I've ever owned) were going to require ironing every time I wore them. To which I immediately thought "Well, I guess I won't be wearing them much then." And I

The Four Horsemen Of The Relationship Apocalypse

Many moons ago, I heard about a researcher who'd figured out how to predict with 94% accuracy whether a marriage would end in divorce. Needless to say, this immediately piqued my curiosity (not 93%, not 95%, but 94%? Turns out, it was actually 93.6%) I read a bit further, and his basic approach was this: He'd

The Power Of Speech

No, I'm not talking Martin Luther King type of speech (although that was pretty damn powerful), I'm just talking about regular old day-to-day speech. Pretty obviously, our actions are more powerful than words. Similarly, our words are more powerful than our thoughts. The problem is, for those of us who are of a *cough* slightly more

Detecting and Dispersing Disapproval

Disapproval is a subtle one. It's often harder to detect than anger — its shouty, ranty cousin. It slips under our radar, disquised as a "but" at the end of another otherwise loving sentence. "I love my girlfriend but…" "We have a great life but…" or perhaps an "if only": "I'd love her so much more if only…"

What To Do When Life Kicks You In The Balls

Sometimes, life can really harsh your mellow. As a friend of mine recently described "It feels like I'm getting a hole kicked in my chest every 6 hours." Wow. Yes. If you have no idea what I mean by this, well, I'm damn happy for you. It sucks. No-one should have to experience this kind of

Why Relationships Die

Relationships break up for many obvious reasons — physical, emotional or psychological violence. Alcohol or drugs. Distance. Infidelity. Money stress. Death. Or even simply growing apart — one partner grows, the other doesn't. Under all this though, there's one core reason most relationships die. It's the same reason buildings rot away and collapse: Lack of

This Crappy Feeling

It can be tricky to put our finger on exactly why we might be feeling crappy. Feelings come and feelings go. It's just energy moving through us. Not good, not bad. Just energy. Our subconscious moves in mysterious ways. Thoughts and memories often jiggle around below the surface, too deeply buried for us to consciously

Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Ties

When I was growing up, Mum told me "every person you have sex with, you leave a little bit of yourself behind." Being a teenager at the time, I thought she was on crack (also, mothers, what do they know? Nothing. Obviously.) I've had a decade or two to think about it since then (while gaining a clue or

The Fastest I Have Ever Been Rejected

The other night we started drinking at about 9:30pm after a very long day at work. We didn't finish until ridiculously late (well, early). Now, get enough beers in me & I get a bit crazy. A bit "everyone deserves to feel good, so why not compliment them?" crazy. Perhaps unsurprisingly, in a bar situation