Gall Bladder Cleanse – Don’t Do What I Did

[If you’re squeamish, don’t read this]

I’d been reading a bit about gall bladder cleanses on Give It To Me Raw, and thought “Hey, why not give that a go?”

So I did.

mMMmm nummy! No, mine doesn’t look like this (I’d be in extreme pain if it did).

I did a bunch of research, read about 20 different ways to do it, and figured out what would work for me, and went ahead and got stuck in.

Most of the suggestions involve drinking olive oil + lemon (or grapefruit) juice in the evening, lying on your right hand side with your right knee up, for half an hour, then going to sleep.

So, here’s what not to do:

  1. Don’t figure “Why wait till evening? I’ll start now!” (2pm in the afternoon). Otherwise you’ll be up all night, uhh, running back & forth. This is not as much fun as it sounds.
  2. Also, there’s a good chance you’ll spend the rest of the day burping olive oil. This is REALLY gross. If you’re asleep, of course, you won’t notice.
  3. Generally the idea is not to eat all day, then drink the gunk in the evening. I’ve been having psyllium shakes (couple of teaspoons psyllium husk shaken up in water) early in the morning. To me, that’s liquid, so no problem, right? Ahh, my body thinks otherwise. Apparently this is a solid. Big problem. Blocks you up inside, so the gall stones can’t flush out as easily. I spent most of the rest of the day feeling pretty ill. I have a sneaking suspicion this also lead to me throwing up, later in the piece.
  4. I’m a curious guy, but still not curious enough to sift through my “produce”. So leaving the light on is a good idea, because otherwise it’s going to be pitch black when you go rushing in there & you’ll never get to see the results of all your glorious efforts. Once you’re sitting, there’s no way in hell you’re getting up again. And once you’ve finished, there’s no way in hell you’re leaving that evil stuff lying around even long enough to get to the light & back.

And here’s what did kind of work:

  1. I had 2 cups (500ml) of olive oil with 2 cups of lemon juice & the juice of a grapefruit. All things considered, that didn’t taste too bad (although I did skull it down). I think the grapefruit really softened the taste.
  2. Taking tiny licks of honey in between gulping sessions helped too. I managed to get the entire litre (quart) all down in about 5 minutes.
  3. Gargling with mouthwash was the only thing I found that reliably took the olive oil burps away (I tried apple, pineapple juice, water).

Annnnd, some other notes, that you probably don’t want to know.

  1. Plan on being very busy. I lost count after 14 visits, oh, and threw up three times (I think about the 13th visit). Interestingly, I didn’t throw up any oil (I would have tasted it), just the pineapple juice & water I’d taken several hours after the oil, to try and rehydrate a bit and take the olive oil taste away.
  2. The next morning my skin really smelt. Not like I’ve ever smelt it before, and very unusual. Definite “uh oh, time for a shower” stuff. I’d guess I was detoxing stuff out through my pores too.
  3. As mentioned above, I kept forgetting to switch the light on, so didn’t really get to have a quick look & see how it went in terms of stones, but once most of the action was gone & things had calmed down a bit I did remember to switch it on, and the next couple of visits saw many things like that looked exactly the size, colour & shape of peas, floating in the bowl.
  4. The first couple of visits were pretty unusual, and definitely felt like I was clearing some large bulbous things. No way in hell was I gonna go looking for them though!!

All in all, pretty much like giving birth to a litter of alien face-huggers.

So, for all the excitement, it looks like I did successfully clear SOMETHING(S) out of my system. Some people mention feeling incredible soon after. I must say I just feel worn out. Ahh, I don’t think I’ll be doing it again in any hurry though *cough*. Heh. Just… No.